The only day in your life ….your mother smiled when you cried , what a birthday is…’
-APJ Abdul Kalam
‘Certain areas it will get ready and certain areas it will not and mine havnt ready yet and its okey ‘. Hope many of us heard these sentences from a small boy named Fayis . Along ago his video was getting famous due to this dialogue that he said to himself that ‘its okey even if its not ready for him‘ . We humans have a tendency that our greediness for somethings will never get to end .We wish for more and believe that, if we have to be happy we need them with us. The truth is that we find happiness in things and not feel the joy within us. These words of him got the attention because its something we all lacked even after being a grownup but this small boy said it.
At certain moment we might have wished if someone had said them that its okay for making mistakes , its okey if u failed ,its okey if u havnt reached where u wanted to be and wished if someone could help to heal our wounds. No one is perfect, everyone has there own faults and those faults makes a difference in each of us and accepting a person with them is divine.
When I was going through my old pictures which was taken with my parents back in Saudi , my fingers got hold them and started to zoom each face and a smile started to pop along with them , tears started to role over my cheeks. I was sitting on a chair in my cousins house and everyone was busy with their works as Lock down has made everyone stay back together in their homes . We are four girls, two from a different parent perhaps we wish to call us as friends even though we belong to the same family and can be identified as cousins. Seeing my tears ,they asked in curiosity ‘whats wrong to cry?’ ,well when a tear comes off from our eye its the common question that will be raised ,’Why are you crying?’.
Well as an expert in crying that’s what everyone who knows me says ,well let me explain to you all ,there are various forms of crying that is , tears that comes from a happiest moment which happened so surprisingly, tears comes when anger catches that you are not in a position to speak maybe cause thinking its better to be silent than to create a conflict , tears coming from memories either with happiness of thinking how blessed my life was and thanking god for it or for the things that will never happen again and misses them ,tears that comes with pure pain from heart which is like a broken feeling and also tears simply comes for girls at a particular age for no reason as per the changes that takes place in their body. So well all these are tears that comes out for a reason. When they asked me I had a smile on my face showing the picture to them. It was a picture of my fourth birthday ,standing in front on the cake along with my small sister beside me and to my right stood dad, to my left sister and to her left mom. I still remember I wore a white frock and my sister in a orange shade frock . While showing them the picture with memories filled mind I started to explain my memories that took place at that moment.
I was born in Saudi Arabia at King Fahad Hospital Al-Khobar and I had spend my life there for about fifteen years and in middle of my tenth class we shifted to Dammam .So all my memories of happiness lies in that city perhaps my childhood. According to muslim community we dont celebrate birthday as such as inviting people and giving a party such an act is not vibrantly done . But my dad was like till 10 year it is okay to cut a cake and take a photograph just to keep a memory ,and we did them every year till the age of 10. It will be just four of us , me ,dad,mom and sis in our tiny home keeping camera on a stand and clicking our own pictures .
Surprise gifts were not always there but use to get something new most of the time it will be dress and we wore them for cake cutting . The cake wouldn’t be so huge with write ups but a small cake either vanilla or any other flavour and had candles kept according to the age ,for eg. if it is 4 year birthday then 5 candles . We majority of us get confusion in counting the age like whether its the age completed or started . Let me clear that first , If you were born in 2000 and its 2004 which means you have completed 4 years on your birthday and started the 5th year. Thats how the working goes and due to that we put an extra candle to show the new start.
Birthday means the first thing we might all do at homes specially for our mothers will be to cook something special in the form of payasam ,biriyani or anything special which we dont prepare always. Even in my house that tradition was there as it was moms duty to prepare them and serve. Till the age of 10 this was the usual pattern and we even kept an outing to make us all feel good for the day and kept on reciting every year on that day about the pain my mom suffered to get me out and the tension dad had. It was the usual thing of mom to explain her pain with complete expression as all mothers , as they have so much to say about their delivary process and we would just listen to it even though we know its the painful task they have done in their life. I was the second child and my mom says I gave her so much pain than the rest two and for dad he had more tension as he was the only family member in front of the labour room waiting for my entry to this world as the other two sisters were in India surrounded by everyone and dad was in Saudi at those times . I was the only child whom he took first , maybe because of that we have a special love and concernt for each other.
When I turned Eighteen , I got a surprise cake from my mom’s collegue and shared them to my friends. From my 11th birthday I started receiving gifts and that tradition of giving gifts on their birthday was a usual thing. After my 13th birthday among friends we started to give cards along with gifts like the one we prepared ourselves with special words about them. Maybe that might be the start of writing something from heart which made me write this today. After completing my 18th birthday I left Saudi and latter it was all different to which I had never experienced before.
I joined in college and my 19th birthday was the first birthday in my memory in India and leaving my parents. The day before of my birthday I went all down thinking of the old memories I had with my parents. I literally miss my land and my parents, my school, my friends and when this day came across that kept me mentally down. My best friend was in New zealand studying for aviation and everything attached to my heart was far from me. I was blessed enough to get a new bunch of friends who welcomed me with a beautiful smile and accepted me for who I am with all my faults .Due to the sadness I went to bed early like about 9’o clock in the evening and we were at hostel so the lights were on for others and I kept myself inside the blanket and slept.When it was something like 11:30pm my hostel friends five of them Shibukkuttan , grees, KC ,lechu and hannu who knows me better in my new life, woke me up and wished me saying they are tired so cant wait for 12am and wanna sleep . From the sleep I woke up and accepted their wishes with smile cause they took the effort to remember them and wish . When they left I took my blanket and again went back to sleep .I dint go to a deep sleep and could hear my phone ringing , my friends took them and handed over to me and asked to answer. It was Micha and I answered the call .
Since the next day was my birthday I thought the call was for a wish but everything was upside down. Micha asked me two things ,’ Did you sleep ?,Can you handover this phone to kc in the other room’ . I was like asking my other friends to hand this but they behaved so strange that being rude asked me to do them. In half sleep I woke up and started to knock the door ,when the door was opened I was wondered with the arrangements they gave . The tables were arranged in candles , there was six or something chocolate biscuits arranged in a layer on top of some mixture along with that the room where well decorated enough and I could hear a birthday wish from call and asked me to enjoy them and hanged up. I heard a huge noise of all of them screaming my birthday wish and could hear a song as background music wishing my birthday .
That was something I had never experienced . Something so new to my life .A very big surprise that lies deep in my heart. Tears started to flow from my eyes and I blowed the candles as they all asked . After that they started to give me gifts like first a book which I always wanted to have , then a beautiful mug and then I could see was a huge cover which they handed over to me , they said this is from your friend Bincy .I wondered, holding that tears started to flow hard . I missed her ,I missed everything which I had and I couldnt believe how could she ,she is far from me perhaps in a different country . Thinking of all this I burtsed into screaming crying and I could hear them saying dont make them also cry . They asked me to open it and I could see was a Very big pink bear . Seeing that they took it aside and gave next ,it was a pot of fish a fighter which was blue in color and looked so beautiful inside that bowl , it was from Micha and others . Shibukuttans birthday was near so I planned that for her actually so when I got them I was in wonder and in lost . That birthday was something with color , something filled with wishes and surprises and gifts . I dint want that to be so huge as it went. Heart was filled with happiness for experiencing something new.
Everything passed well that year , and those memories will never be forgotten . But the main thing is that all these years the best gift which I had received was realized by me the year 2020 . The birthday I had that year can never ever be forgotten because it gave life to my rest year birthdays. Last year had a huge celebration with so much to fill the heart and stomach and more over the people that surrounded me itself gave the pleasure. But this year no one was beside me, no one. As last year dad send a voice note with so many blessings and prayers this year too had them , friends texts and calls ,posts edits ,everything that people could do from a distance they all did for me . And they tried to give me happiness and did their maximum. That night I remember as I was in hostel and it was just me there and no one else ,everyone left to their houses as we had a few days leave and I insisted to stay in hostel cause my parents were abroad and had to leave to my couzins home so thought better to stay here. So my roomates shibukuttan and grees gave a video call before one hour of turning 12am and spended almost two hours on call just to make me feel happy and show their presence with me. Was happy for the presence and effort they did and for everyone who did their maximum. The next day which was on my birthday I just had nothing special with me . Just so many text messages and wishes and the day went like that . That Night when I had my dinner and went back to room I could hear a knock on the door. I went and opened it . It was my warden chechi holding a cup of Ice-Cream and gave me saying ,’ Its your birthdayna and I dint give you anything sweet and special ,have this cream .’ I took them with a smile and locked the door again . Holding that I sat on my bed looking at it for sometime . I could feel the running of tears on my cheeks ,this tear was not of happiness , this tear was not of anger too but tears that fell from a broken heart . All these years I had everything , and the precious thing was the physical presence one can give. Last year had a huge party with so many of them but this year no one . Nothing special to have . Nothing special to do just as a normal day . Holding that cream I could feel the pain within me . More than what happened outside, the pain was inside. Taking each spoon of that cream I could get all memories running through my mind . That was the cream which tasted sweeter than I could ever have . The best gift I could ever receive and the best version of love a warden could show me . She was never just a warden to me a motherly feel I could get .When her form of love was expressed this way I couldnt even know how to thank as words went speechless . That was the day all the other birthdays came to alive.
Every individual have their own perspective towards birthdays . Some wanna celebrate them , for some wanna hide and only close ones to know about it .Some prefer gifts and surprises and others just satisfied with a wish . It changes from one person to other depending on there form of happiness. There are people who gets Thousands of wishes but still not happy cause that person might be waiting for that one person to wish . Even if no one wishes but a wish from the special one is enough to give you happiness. When you get a surprise its a very good feeling and must thank for the efforts they all take for you . There are people who cant afford all these expense but makes you happy everyday and not just your birthday.
Never complain for the things that doesnt happen with you . If you could have a person even if its just one who can make you feel special that is what matters. There are people who dont talk to you but wishes you for your birthdays , dont complaint them instead of thank for their effort they did because there are people who dont even have anyone to even wish them . Birthdays are not about how much color is been made but about how much happiness your heart feels. Every persons birth has a striving story to say . Every birth has a painful emotion that is been suffered. Ask your mothers about the birth she gave you and you will be able to see a painful process she explains as if it happened the day before.
To every parent you are special because the love they have for you is not just happened after your birth but the time when they knew that your life pops in her. Dont complain that you never had a childhood memory about birthdays , if u dint have any you know the importance so give your child a best memory you can give .
Everyone born in this word has a reason and that can only be fulfilled once you realize them . Life is so much to be explored ,learn and experience . Each new day is a new beginning and a new chance to change them to the ways you want it to be . Before ending them , lets complete all the dots thats been given to us and connect them to get a beautiful picture called life . ‘ Believe everything happens for good.’
I have always been against Glorifying Over Work and therefore, in the year 2021, I have decided to launch this campaign “Balancing Life”and talk about this wrong practice, that we have been following since last few years. I will be talking to and interviewing around 1 lakh people in the coming 2021 and publish their interview regarding their opinion on glamourising Over Work.
IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN PARTICIPATING IN THE SAME, DO LET ME KNOW.
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