The Big Lesson I Learned

‘To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.’

We all are humans so do, we have the curiosity in us. When someone asks us to promise them not to say a word about it, with that curiosity we give them the word without even thinking twice about it. But majority of us won’t show the courage to keep them just with ourselves . It’s human nature. Saying about this I remember about an incident which took place years ago.
        Years back,in saudi, when I was in my 4th standard . I use to have dance classes twice a week which has been  started at the age of 7.My parents, as both of them were working they had their duty till 8 pm. My dance classes where about one hour which started from 9pm – 10pm. My dad use to drop me for classes and mostly he use to go elsewhere than to get back home as it’s just a matter of one hour. After the classes me and my master use to wait together as my dad initiated in dropping him back to his home.
     It was my usual pattern. Every Mondays and Wednesdays I had classes. At 10 my dad use to wait down the flat to pick us and I would be hurry to get in. In case if he is late I would blabber with my master too much and he always says that he never gets bored in my presence as my mouth never shut.
    Everything was normal, as it usually takes place. We would be waiting down the flat and eagerly waiting for the white colored Toyota Cressida car to come towards us. When he stops for us to enter, I would run quick to the back seat and jumb to kneel by turning back and putting my ears on to the speaker. Dad knows the usual act and he increases the volume. At 10, we use to have bed time stories on radio Fm. And I loved hearing stories, well hearing them where my usual habit.
   It takes about 30 min to get back home and the story time was this 30 min. We drop my Master and smoothly move to our matters. That day he had to buy certain things from bakhala (super market), that was the name used  there. After having them dad took the car and I was explaining everything that happened in that day’s class. While in talks I mentioned about a girl who is just 5 year old and explained him that he know  her as she is his friend’s daughter. He nodded in a matter as he knew and said me something important.
” Ya I do knw her, well she is actually his sister’s daughter and not his own and since they dint have one they adopted her, well keep this to yourself and don’t ever say this to anyone ever. Everyone do knows about it, but u kids doesn’t have to bother in these matters ,u should never even mention abt this to your friends nor see her that way. ”
    Actually it was an accident that he said these to me. And well hearing those, made me speechless and a kind of heart broken situation tortured me. I never heard of these in my life ever and moreover all these adoptions were new to me. At that age I would literally think, ‘oh so all these are true and what if even I am adopted and not saying to me, just think abt her how will she face this pain, I cannot bare this.’
     This was a new situation which I gone through. After saying this matter, silence took place between us. My dad parked the car and I went running to my house. In a broken pain I literally wanted to share to someone to weight myself down. I ranged the bell non stop till the door was open. My sis opened the door and shouted by saying was I been to death or was someone following me. But I dint even bother to hear and pushed her, entered in to see mom.
     She was in washroom, washing our clothes. I ran to her, and with a beautiful smile she welcomed me back and asked about my day. I skipped that question and directly went into my topic and said about the matter which dad said me a while ago. Mom kept on doing her job and was listening to me. What I could see was her nodding to show that she heard. That moment I dint understand whether she knew it or was this news new to her.
    Dad came in and saw me talking to mom about this matter and he asked what’s the matter to mom. She replied with my words. Hearing this I just remember one thing, well that was a kind of day I never thought would turn to within a fraction of second.
     I still remember I wore a green top and white pants. His anger got up and he pulled me into the air by holding my top. As I was tiny it was easy for him to do. At that time I understood I am finished and why did I say her about it.
    Due to his pull my top tore into two piece and I was lying down. He took the cane, we usually keep canes on top of our aquarium and there was a collection of them. The way he use to take them was like removing a sword from chappe. Within fraction of seconds I was into pieces with his beats and my body went weak by loosing the energy while screaming. I could see my mom interfering and asking him forgive for my mistake but he just pulled her out and was handling me well.
   As usual, after all this he drew a circle and made me in it. Well this time due to the tiredness of loosage of energy, I sat down in that circle as if I was a ghost who has been listening to the astrologer.
     Anyhow he looked down at me and by pointing his cane he said,
” while saying dint I say you to not tell anyone about this, then why did u tell her about it? ”.
Well my reply was, ‘it’s just to mom I said and no one else’. Well she knew them before, how come dad knows and mom doesn’t. He continued with his words,
” when I asked you to not say anyone, that includes anyone even if it’s your mom. You are suppose to keep your words. When u promise someone, keep your promise in actions, whatever it maybe. Breaking a promise is like breaking someone’s trust they have on you. If u cannot keep them then better don’t give your ears for it. ”
His words were to be like a warning to me and even if those words entered to me with pain, it always helped me in my life till now.
   His those words made me the urge to keep the words to which I gave to someone. Maybe because of the pain I suffered at that moment, I never ever felt to break a promise which I gave someone even if that was a threat to my life.

      Yes more than being a loved person it is always a compliment to hear that yes, ‘I was a trustful person.’ Building trust is not that easy because even if u had trust for years it can break with just one action.
     Between my friends, I had a good friendship and more importantly people trusted me to share there secrets. As hopefully I never broke them till date as I always take them seriously. Most occasions I use to worry too much because, people blindly trust me, they share too much that, maybe to me I may not share mine to them and if they expect the same from me of sharing, then I would disappoint them. With this fear I created a boundary around me, to whom I feel comfortable and to whom I share with will only be there in my intimate circle and would provide time and promise to them. So even if they expect the same from me I can give it.
      Dad’s those words actually cooked me to build my personality and because of this I am surrounded with protective and trustworthy hands.
   Yes its easy for us to give words but difficult to act on it. Gopinath muthukad sir has said once, ” Don’t share bad about your enemies to your friends and bad to others about your friends, you won’t know when these enemies turn to be your friend and your friend turn to be your enemy. It’s better not to share bad about anyone. So u can create a healthy relationship. “
     Yes those words are true because people change now and then. We cannot predict who stays with us now and who may not. It’s better not to create any hatred to anyone. I remember Achi saying this, ”If u can look at someone and smile then that’s a blessing. You cannot know whether you will be able to do this act Tomorrow.”

‘Trust starts with truth and ends with truth’.                           
                                  – Santhosh kalwar          

Aishwarya Says:

I have always been against Glorifying Over Work and therefore, in the year 2021, I have decided to launch this campaign “Balancing Life”and talk about this wrong practice, that we have been following since last few years. I will be talking to and interviewing around 1 lakh people in the coming 2021 and publish their interview regarding their opinion on glamourising Over Work.


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In the year 2021, we wrote about 1000 Inspirational Women In India, in the year 2022, we would be featuring 5000 Start Up Stories.

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