‘Dowry’ according to the dictionary, means the property which a woman brings to her husband at the time of her marriage. Originally, it must have meant property represented by the voluntary gifts given to the girl by her parents, relatives and friends out of love and affection, at the time of her marriage. May be these gifts were given to the girl in order to enable her to set up a new home out of a sense of social responsibility. The system of dowry must be as old as the institution of marriage itself. It must also have been a universal practice. Every father wants to give some presents to his daughter when she is leaving his home for good and starting life afresh. There is nothing unusual, bad abnormal about it.
Let us analyze how and why this system took birth at all? In the earlier times of Indian society, the daughter had no share in the father’s property so, by way of dowry the girl would get at least some portion of her share. Besides this, in those days, the girls were not educated so, this dowry could serve the girl as a back up support system in case of any emergency after her marriage. Seeing this as the ground reality and the reason for the system for having taken birth, no right thinking people would call the system wrong or unjustified. However, with the passage of time this same fine system has taken the ugly shape of begging for dowry, bargaining for dowry, auctioning the boy to the highest bidder and finally suicides. This is because, taking advantage of the system, the parents of the boys, have Started demanding dowry. This was never done in the original shape of the system. The girl’s parents would give whatever they could and, there would be NO – yes, No demands from the boy’s side. Besides demanding items of dowry, now parents of the boy’s family keep items of the dowry for their own use. This was also not in the original system for, whatever was given was for the girl only- and never for the boy’s family. These two additions in the original system have converted the blessing for the girl into a curse for her. The parents who cannot afford to meet the demands of the boy’s family are forced either into taking loans that they can never return, or use unfair means of corruption to make money to meet the demanded expenses In turn, this has led to even committing suicides by the girls murders of girls by the in-laws. At times even before the marriage, the girl is led to kill herself to save her parents from the trauma of collecting money for her marriage.
We see that, a system that was at one time very wise and discreet, has taken an ugly shape just because of the deed of men and women in today’s world. This system of dowry has become a slur on the Indian society. Besides being a shame, in today’s scenario, the system as it was even in the initial stages of its existence, has become quite irrelevant. This is because, both the reasons for its birth are now not in vogue. These days, girls are usually educated and can earn a livelihood if need arises, and, they now also have a share, an equal share as the brothers have in the father’s property. That means the necessity of the girl having an amount to reach out in the days of crisis or emergency does not hold good any more. So, when the very basis of the system does not exist, the system should be scrapped altogether. This is because; the system instead of bringing solace, only generates greed and even crime in several cases
In order to root out the evil of dowry from the society, we shall have to build up a strong public opinion against it. Boys and girls in schools and colleges should be made to take a pledge that they would neither seek nor give dowry. They should be educated through films, television plays and talks, slides camps, lectures and radio talks. Such boys as refuse to accept dowry in their marriages should be honored in public. If we succeed in removing the evil of dowry, it will be really a praiseworthy achievement Joint efforts by the government, women’s organizations, socially enlightened people are likely to yield results. Of course, the change will come slowly. It will be long before the evil can be completely stamped out. But once a collective effort is made, there is hope of the social evil being wiped out. Indeed, the crusade against dowry needs to be crystallized into a public movement and a massive social protest.
I have always been against Glorifying Over Work and therefore, in the year 2021, I have decided to launch this campaign “Balancing Life”and talk about this wrong practice, that we have been following since last few years. I will be talking to and interviewing around 1 lakh people in the coming 2021 and publish their interview regarding their opinion on glamourising Over Work.
If you are interested in participating in the same, do let me know.
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