Marriage is the union of two people who decide to live life together and go through all emotions together. But such an important decision is sometimes imposed on young men and women in the name of societal boundaries and tradition.
Arranged marriages are not all bad. Love marriages are all not successful. It all depends on the understanding of the couple. This gamble of a decision to marry someone and place one’s trust and life’s trajectory in someone is immense. This calls for not just trust but hope. Hope that the person will be as they seem to be.
Ofcourse, no one is perfect. There are no perfect marriages. Marriages require a wholesome preparation to understand the balance between the two people. Your work is important and so is mine. Such words must not be said, but must be understood. If I clean the kitchen you must clean the room. This is not some torture but an expectation. This shows admiration and respect of both partners towards each other.
Then comes the family of the partner . They are individuals who have known your partner more longer than you have. You may find it difficult to share the time and attention your partner gives to you and your family. He or she may gossip with their siblings and you may not know the inside jokes . But that doesn’t make you less loved or wanted. Your place is unique and yours only.
Things take time to settle in a marriage. As it is a whole institution. It encompasses your daily life, your kids, your health, family life , and everything you can think of. Be it postpartum depression or generalized anxiety, one has to go through all moments together. This is how couples grow together.
I’m no expert in such talks but my observation says that personalities do rub off each other. Therefore, one must be sure of what kind of person he or she wants to be with. Because a pessimistic person can be happy with a strong individual who believes in hope. Another person of sweet nature will go the best with a sweet person, not an angry one. Opposites may not always attract, they can oppose too. So be cautious.
Even after all the caution, it is after all a gamble. But a worthwhile one. Today divorce cases are rising. Not because women or men have been revolting lately. But because no one is taking nonsense. The financially well off can afford to get away with abusive partners but many others are still suffering. That’s why it’s important for women especially, to be financially independent. Because only then can they take their own decisions.
Parents shouldn’t hurry to marry their daughters just because of other girls their age getting married or because of family pressure. Let them study and bloom into empowered women of tomorrow. Empowered women are different and more needed than powerful women.
Life and marriage shouldn’t be about idealism but it should focus on realism. Don’t believe in fairy tales. But do believe in your own little world. Believe in your partner. And love the one who has the courage to support your ambition. Because such partners will never want you to step back. They will always support. Which is an essential element to sustain marriages.
Wealth can be lost, friends may forget , life goes on. But life can be enriching with a partner who is sensitive enough to know and empathize you, even in your weak moments. That’s life. Live it with pride and joy!
I have always been against Glorifying Over Work and therefore, in the year 2021, I have decided to launch this campaign “Balancing Life”and talk about this wrong practice, that we have been following since last few years. I will be talking to and interviewing around 1 lakh people in the coming 2021 and publish their interview regarding their opinion on glamourising Over Work.
If you are interested in participating in the same, do let me know.
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