From the time a child is born, we tend to compare its features and traits with parents, grandparents, siblings, celebs, aliens and almost everyone. As the child grows, this irritating habit just continues to increase and anyone, who can compare and find similarity, feels like an achievement. Trust me as a mother, this is what irritates me the most.
Yes secretly every parent wishes that their child turns out to be like them and fulfill their wishes, which they could not but I do not want the same for my child. I want him to be very different than me. Have his own personality. Many a times we often tend to tell our children stories of successful people (People who are successful in life, as per us) to inspire them and motivate them. In a way since childhood we have already set the benchmark for them in life, what they need to achieve, but do they wish to do it beyond that, who cares ? Till the time they have achieved the standard set by the society, we as parents are happy.
India has an immense pool of talent. Yet the best, always move abroad, we have the business idea but what are the support systems available for the start ups ? None. Our ancestors have been the pioneers in research and invention but in the present day education system, what is the scope of research and Invention in India ? Limited. We are so obsessed in showing off to the world and fitting ourselves in the clique that we forget the immense amount of damage that we are doing to our children’s future.
If you want to really set benchmarks or inspiration for your children, then expose them to different field, let them get inspired by the subject and not the people. If you want your child to be a doctor, then tell him or her about the things that a doctor does, the role of a doctor , the responsibilities, the perks and also the negatives of being a doctor. Just feeding in his mind since childhood, that you have to be a doctor just because your uncle is a doctor and he is successful , so that’s why you need to be a doctor does not help. The ultimate decision should be that of the child.
Similarly, if you want your child to turn out to be a good person, tell them about the good values, how good values, will help them achieve the things, they wish to in their life. Just comparing them with their siblings, or any other person may have a wrong impact on them.
These days we often hear about children committing suicide for the smallest of things. Why? A lot of times before the society, it is the parents, who put immense pressure on children to excel. These incidents, may seem trivial but they have real long term impact on the child’s mind. Yes, as parents we want the best for our children, but in the process, we are somewhere forcing them.
Don’t create a glass ceiling for your children. Let them set their own Benchmarks.
Once they do this. Nothing can stop them from being Successful.
It is also important to be happy in life also. If they are comfortable in their own skin and understand what they want to do in life.
I have always been against Glorifying Over Work and therefore, in the year 2021, I have decided to launch this campaign “Balancing Life”and talk about this wrong practice, that we have been following since last few years. I will be talking to and interviewing around 1 lakh people in the coming 2021 and publish their interview regarding their opinion on glamourising Over Work.
If you are interested in participating in the same, do let me know.
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