This is written by someone who is married to a wonderful person for the last 8 years with two lovely kids. I do not fit into the normal definition of the society and therefore my definition of Love and Valentine is something different. You may or may not relate to the same but I would love to share my experience.
I had an arranged marriage in the year 2013. I had barely met my husband for 45 mins before I said yes. (I feel that was the wisest thing that my husband did, if we had met for longer duration,I am worried he may have changed his decision). Marriages and relationships any where in the World is a gamble. You may either hit a jackpot and still manage to become bankrupt because you were too careless with your prize or You may win a moderate amount and manage to live off luxurious with the same, due to your wise savings. Nobody can predict the Happily ever after, neither movies nor novels.
I never read romantic novels per se. My idea of Romance and Love was mostly the lead characters of Danielle Steel’s Novels, who’s characters always had strong and independent women, who managed to stand on their feet irrespective of the circumstances. The Pandemic was tough on every single individual in its own way. It was tough even for us. Just slightly better from a lot of other people. Emotional Trauma, Mental Stress, Work Stress, handling the meltdown of children and their everlasting energy. At the end of the day, it did drain us. When you are inside a house for almost few months, with your own schedule and yet you can barely communicate directly with each other, it does take a toll on your relationship. Just because he was working from home, did not mean that we spent a lot of time together.
We had our own share of fights, we had our share of misunderstandings, outbursts and meltdowns. I started my own Start up in the month of Septemeber 2020. Till then I was a headless blogger, but now I am an Enterpreneur and trust me the journey would not have been easy without my husband’s support.
What is Love ?
In the last 8 years one thing I realised is Love is not what happens in Karan Johar Movies. It is much beyond that and unseen. Love for me has been a strong agent that binds your relationship.
A person cannot be in a relationship if you do not have respect, trust and space. Respect is obiviously essential for any human being for his survival. But when I say respect, it also means that we appreciate the differences. Our Movie choices, our song choices, our food preference is entirely different. I love to read and write and he barely reads my work. Even today, more than direct communication our communication is more through Whatsapp. The last movie that we saw together was in the year 2018 I suppose and the last vacation that we had been together was in the year 2015 with our families. The last time we went on a so called Date was during our Honeymoon.
Yet, we are two happy individuals, who are very happy in this marriage. If you want to ever understand, what is the depth of Love and relationship, do not read those sponsored articles on Social Media, which says that if your spouse doesn’t make plans to spend time with you, he is not into you. Sorry to burst your bubble but those articles are written by brands to sell their products and services. One of the best parts about our relationship is that we both have our freedom and limitations and the communication and dialogue is always open.
If I were to define love this Valentine, I can say that Love is definately not something that can be defined. It is invisible glue that binds you to a person.
Distance also plays a minimal role in relationship. Even during the pandemic, when we both were working from home, we both were sitting in two different rooms, through out the day. His work would start early morning and end at later in the night. I would be drained with keeping the kids engaged and taking care of my work and therefore the amount of time that we spent together was much lesser than what we would have had spent, when he was going to office. So it was as good as a long distance relationship because even though you are physically around you do not have a moment to spare with each other. But it is the same Faith, Respect and Love, that would help us sail through this pandemic. This April we will complete our 8th WEdding Anniversay.
Like Every Valentines Day, I would be getting nothing except loud snores at night. Yes, the reality of long lasting marriages are masked under snores and farts.
This article was originally written and published by me on YouthKiAwaaz on February 10,2021 as a part of their Valentine’s Day Special.
I have always been against Glorifying Over Work and therefore, in the year 2021, I have decided to launch this campaign “Balancing Life”and talk about this wrong practice, that we have been following since last few years. I will be talking to and interviewing around 1 lakh people in the coming 2021 and publish their interview regarding their opinion on glamourising Over Work.
If you are interested in participating in the same, do let me know.
The copyright of this Article belongs exclusively to Ms. Aishwarya Sandeep. Reproduction of the same, without permission will amount to Copyright Infringement. Appropriate Legal Action under the Indian Laws will be taken.
If you would also like to contribute to my website, then do share your articles or poems at firstname.lastname@example.org
We also have a Facebook Group Restarter Moms for Mothers or Women who would like to rejoin their careers post a career break or women who are enterpreneurs.
We are also running a series Inspirational Women from January 2021 to March 31,2021, featuring around 1000 stories about Indian Women, who changed the world. #choosetochallenge
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