I have two children. Elder Son born in the year 2014 and younger daughter born in the year 2019. My journey of 9 months was totally different during both my pregnancies. Biologically and also socially. Some changes were beyond my control, some changes were those that I could control.
Every pregnancy is different. Even if it is with the same woman. So the next time someone tells you that you are over reacting as they never had to face this issue during their pregnancy, tell that different bodies at different circumstances, face difficulties.
So here is how my journey of 9 months was different during both pregnancies.
I was already on the heavier side and during both my pregnancies I had gained around 10 kgs. I never really lost my post partum weight post my first pregnancy. To add it my PCOD and the treatment for PCOD only made my weight worse. I was almost 25 kgs more than my desire weight, when I was trying for my second child.
Doctors, were not that supportive of me having a second child, but I was confident internally but scared externally about my second pregnancy. I bloated like a balloon and became like a melted candle post my second pregnancy. My face looks like it has melted, which is also one of the reasons, which I shy from posting my images on the social media.
Even though I was more physically active during my second pregnancy, I somehow managed to gain more weight in my second pregnancy. I developed a bad cold during my 8th month of pregnancy, which somehow, was not being cured by any medicines. Finally, I had to take nebulisation to get rid of the cold.
That reminds me one thing common between both my pregnancies were that I had developed a common cold during my 8th month of pregnancy. During my first pregnancy for two days I had high fever and even worse back pain. It was the first two days of Ganpati and we had Ganpati at our house. One night my brother was awake till late just rubbing my back because I could neither sleep nor sit, the back pain was just unbearable.
So physically and health wise these were strange two similarities between both my pregnancies. That I fell sick in the 8th month of my pregnancy and delivery and delivered a nice healthy child a month later.
During my first pregnancy, I went down to my mom’s place in the 7th month of my pregnancy. I stopped working completely in my 7th month and was unsure if I would join back work post delivery. I reduced travelling from the 4th month of my pregnancy.
Surprisingly, in my first pregnancy I travelled in train for the maximum time. But during my second pregnancy I seldom travelled by train. Except apart from that one day, when I was travelling suddenly there were no cabs.
During my second pregnancy, I was working either ways from home, so it was not a big deal, still I did travel till my 8th month with my elder son for blogger events. I did take out my elder one to his school and then garden and every other place. So I was physically more active during my second pregancny than my first pregnancy.
Morning sickness was something that I had during both my pregnancies. mainly till the 5th month. I was pregnant with my younger one and was unaware about the same, I mistook morning sickness for acidity issues and started treating myself for acidity by eating the requisite food. I thought my stomach felt funny for about 2 weeks because I ate too spicy food. I ate only curd rice during the initial days.
But one thing that was constant in both my pregnancies was my desire for Pav Bhaji and Chicken fry. I had craving for same food during both my pregnancies.
I had planned C-section for both my children. Co-incidentaly, my son is born on my birthday and my daughter is born on my wedding anniversary. When I was pregant with my elder son the doctor had given me a due date in the end of september. But still my little fellow showed no signs of coming out. My weight was increasing day by day, which was a bit risky. So after waiting for about 10 days, we decided to proceed with a planned C-Section on my Birthday and it was also Sharad Poornima on the same day.
My due date for my second pregnancy was around May 3. As my first pregnancy was also a C-Section and my weight was ever increasing, we decided to do a C-Section one week before the due date. Therefore, I delivered my second one on my Wedding Anniversary. I had low haemoglobin levels and therefore, we were ready with backup blood and everything required for the surgery.
Touchwood, I had the best doctors during both my pregnancies and therefore did not face any post partum side effects of C-Sections. I did not have any problem with my stiches or pains or back pains. Was perfectly fine and happy despite being over weight. A little bit of carefulness, right advice and being mentally strong is what helps. I never felt labour pains during both my pregnancies, which was really strange, but I think that is how my body is.
Now comes, the most important part of motherhood. Breast Feeding. The one aspect, wherein the world feels that it has the authority on your body and defines your motherhood on the basis of how much you breast fed your child.
My both children are exclusively breast fed. I never had any colostrum nor did produce much milk for the baby. During my first pregnancy, Ii must have fed my son little till 40 days and then with my daughter, I barely had milk for 5 days.
But that does not make me any less of a mother. Yes, both my children are exclusively Formula Fed and I am not guilty about the same. It is perfectly normal to have imperfections. Post my first delivery I went into post partum depression because I could not feed my baby but during my second delivery I was conscious about how I take care of myself.
Post Partum Depression
I suffered from Post Partum depression for about three years post my first delivery. The worst part is I was not aware about it and could not share the same with anyone. I went miserable but glad that I emerged as a much better and a much stronger person.
I feel that it is completely normal to break down, feel low, feel lonely, feel unloved. We are human beings and these are emotions that are a part of our lives. But what is not normal is these emotions ruling our lives. If you let these emotions dominate your life. Then your life is finished.
I was very conscious during my second pregnancy that I should not be depressed and it did work. Today, I am a much calmer person and a happier person, while dealing with my two kids.
I won’t say that my days are perfect. I wont say that my children are perfect. I definately won’t say that I am the perfect mother.
I am an imperfect human being, who is striving her best to live each day as it comes.
One Day at a time… that is my favourite book and my favourite quote.
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