Once you are done with your college education and by good luck find yourselves a good placement, the next question that everyone pops up at every family function is when will you get married ? Marriage and wedding always excites everyone except the person who is supposed to get married. There are huge hours of debates on what is the ideal age to get married. Astrologers and match makers are worshiped more than family members.
Cut to the marriage scene. Weather it is love marriage or arrange marriage all the preparations are in full swings. From Wedding Lehenga to Honeymoon Destination everything is discussed and decided but we all forget that one important preparation. Yes that is the mental preparation. One of things that we have always been told is that WOMEN HAVE TO CHANGE AND ACCEPT THE CHANGE IN LIFE POST MARRIAGE. What we simultaneously forget is that a man also goes through the same amount of changes that a woman goes through. Just because it is unacceptable foYr man to accept in the society that he also makes some new adjustments the clash begins.
Before marriage few things that we train ourselves for are cooking, cleaning, some additional household art, financial management, household management etc. etc but one thing that we all forget is to have a training to understand the minds of the opposite sex. Men and women are as different as Chalk and Cheese.
One of the most important skill set that has to be learnt by both the partners is that of Empathy. Nobody is right or wrong in a marriage, it the communication skills that matter the most in a relationship.
For Example: When a wife is having headache, she expects that her husband gives her a little head massage before she consumes the medicine bought by her husband. Whereas the husband feels that he has completed his duty by going to the doctor and bringing her the medicine. One thing that is missing in this relationship is the essence of love and lack of communication skills. Even though Men find physical Intimacy a big deal. For women Physical Intimacy is a form of emotion and lack of emotion leads to a lifeless marriage.
If we see around us the rate of Divorce in our society is increasing like never before. People are not even willing to stay in a marriage even for a year. While some couples happily decide to split with no grudges, some create a huge hue and cry. So why was it that previously marriages lasted and today survival of marriages is doubtful. Let us analyse on a few points.
False Notion of marriage
Marriage is not a social commitement. You do not get married to make your family and society happy or for a social status. You get married because you want to get married.
Commitment and Compromise
These days people feel commitment and compromise is more important for your social networking status, rather than maintaining it for a lifetime.
Solution to the problem
- get married only if you want to
- Spend time with each other, work will keep coming
- It is not important to show off to your friends how cool you are by spending weekends and holidays with your friends
- Have some Public Display of Affection, like appreciating your partners skill set, holding hands, a gentle pat stop bickering about your spouse because it is cool.
- Respect each other. No relationship survives without respecting each others choice.
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