Never Say These things to a Pregnant Women
Pregnancy is the most beautiful phase of a woman’s life. Along with the would be mother, the entire society is excited to pour their advices. This may look exciting and happy but still sometimes knowingly or unknowingly, we end up saying things that we should not to a pregnant lady. Yes, the advices of elders and those experienced and inexperienced are helpful, but still it is important that you give the new mother her own space to adjust things as per her wish.
Hereunder are a few things, that one should avoid talking with a pregnant mother.
- Have Kesar Milk, the child will be fair – Our obsession with fair complexion of a child begins even before the child is born. How many times, have we heard that pregnant women need to have Kesar milk so that the child becomes fair. At the end of the day, the complexion of the child is entirely dependent on its parents and at a later stage on his or her lifestyle or how he or she maintains it. But somewhere down the line, we have put it in our brains that only children who are fair are good looking. Dear Society, please remember, a child will be loved by his mother irrespective of the skin colour.
- The shape of your belly says it will be a boy/girl – The number of times, I have heard this statement, even from the most accomplished and educated women are immense. I have an elder son and the number of people literally betting on the gender of my second child is hilarious, what is more funny is the reasons behind it. One of my neighbours has already predicted that it would be a boy again, because I do not look pregnant and walk faster. Facepalm !!!! Why can’t someone just wish that I will have a safe delivery without any stress? Irrespective of a boy or girl, I am already in love with my unborn child and it will not reduce depending on the gender of the child.
- Eat this vegetable to have a boy – The Indian obsession with a male child has been in existence since ages. Even today, when we say that we are moving ahead into the 21st century, our obsession with having a male child is present as ever. In some communities, having a male child will only help the father take the family forward as a girl child is a paraya dhan. The reason why people are reluctant to have a girl child is because of Dowry. No amount of stringent laws with respect to Dowry is going to help until and unless we do not change the mentality of people in our society. A pregnant lady already goes through a lot of hormonal changes and emotional turmoil. As a society it is our duty to support her during this crucial moment emotionally and physically and not torture her into bearing a male heir.
- You will have a normal delivery only – Recently, I had been to a bloggers meet, wherein the topic shifted to delivery of the child. One of the statements made there by one of the women was “Having a normal delivery is like having achieved a gold medal in the race of life.” True. Many a times elders and sometimes also doctors, instead of educating us about the delivery of our child, tend to tell us that a woman becomes a mother only if she delivers normally and not via C- Section. Nobody tells or talks about the stitches that a woman has to undergo even if she has a normal delivery but everyone expects her to walk around and start working the next day itself just because she has had a normal delivery.
- Morning sickness is a disease – Morning sickness happens generally due to sudden change in hormones in the initial trimester. Morning sickness is not a disease. Similarly, in the last trimester, because the baby is growing and needs a lot of space, it pushes the internal organs, due to which women can generally feel breathless or it may make them gastric. This is the reality, any other logic beyond this is totally unacceptable and not true.
- I did not face this, I am perfect – Everybody is different and so is every pregnancy but that does not mean that you discourage the front person. Things happen for a reason. Pregnancy is beautiful and is meant to be enjoyed and cherished by both the mother and child. Pregnancy is not a race or a report card to be compared with others.
The maximum thing a pregnant woman needs is mental and emotional support and not judgments and prejudices. Hope that as a society, we are able to provide to her with the same.