Judging a child
The moment a child is born, we all become experts on parenting and consider ourselves next to God.
“The Child is so fair, I wonder, what she ate during her pregnancy, the parents are dark, and how did the child turn so fair.”
“The Child is so dark, I wonder, what went wrong, she had saffron milk all through her pregnancy, may be the child is different.”
“My child started talking by this age, yours barely speaks a work, what went wrong?”
“All the children in the family do well, only you manage to score so less.”
And the list is endless. As human beings sometimes, I feel that we dedicate 99% of our time in being judgmental about others rather than working on ourselves. The problem is since childhood, we are taught to be perfect in front of the world, probably that is the reason that our eyes are so opinionated that we try to fit even a new born into our prejudices.
While knowingly and most of the times unknowingly, we tend to be judgmental about a child because that is what we have been taught since our childhood by the society, to judge others. Even though you may not be aware about the consequences of your judgmental behaviour, it does leave a huge impact on the child in future.
- If you judge a child for his every step in childhood, chances are that as he grows up, he will understand that it is norm to judge others based on their actions. Thus passing this toxic behaviour to our future generations;
- Sometimes being judgmental about people, will also force them to think about you as someone, who is always jealous and does not respect anyone. Therefore, somewhere you are also creating indirectly creating a negative effect about yourself;
- Even though you may intend to set a good benchmark for your child by comparing him or giving him examples of others, indirectly you are reducing his scope of achievement. It would rather be better that you teach your child to perform better than he performed last year;
- Remember we all have flaws, as we are human beings, a child will have flaws and it is natural. As an elder, it is your duty to get the best out of your child, despite the flaw or shortcomings of your child. Regularly pointing out a child’s shortcomings, will not help anyone. Rather it will only turn your relationship more toxic;
- It is important that we end this vicious cycle of judging at some point. By judging your child you are teaching him to do the same and pass on the same culture.
Sometimes, it is important that as adults we become more mature and responsible, instead of judging tiny kids and proving our superiority.