Dealing with Adoption

Adoption is a procedure, wherein a couple, which does not have children of their own, adopt a child, who is an orphan as their own. Sometimes, it is difficult for couples to conceive naturally due to various reasons, that is when most of the couples opt for adoption. Before, IVF, surrogacy and other methods to conceive or to have a child sharing your own DNA, were easily accessible and relatively cheaper, couples often opted for Adoption.

Adoption is a very sensitive topic for both the parents and the child and the society and extended family plays a huge role in the same. Often couples, prefer to adopt a child only after they are unable to conceive for a long duration of time or if it is medically not possible at all to conceive. By this time, the couple has already reached their mid- thirties to forties.

Adoption is a big step and therefore both the spouses need to be on the same page. You cannot have one spouse go for adoption without the complete co-operation of the other spouse. Before you adopt a child, it is important that you need to be mentally prepared for different questions arising in future. Only if you are ready to take the complete responsibility of a new life in your family, then opt for adoption. Adopting a child due to family pressure and then returning the child or neglecting the child is just not done right.

Raising an adopted child or a child that you gave birth to, is no different. Yes, an adopted child, will also throw tantrums, will also fall sick, have temper issues and may also have some unforeseen medical issues just like how it would have been if you had given birth to that child. If you ignore their upbringing, then just like any other child, they may also fall into a bad company and go off track. No use later on blaming the Bad Blood of the Biological parents of your adopted child.

One question that often arises in the minds of couples who adopt is about sharing the reality of adoption with their child. Well it is absolutely normal to have this doubt, but remember, your child will appreciate you and respect you more, when he learns the reality of adoption from you and not from outsiders. It is quiet possible that the child may be upset with you, may want to ask millions of questions to its biological parents, which is all quiet natural. It is ultimately important, that he receives this information from his adopted parents, this will at least not make the child feel betrayed, that you hid important information from him. Yes. It is important for the child to know that it is adopted for benefit of the parent and the child.

It is also important that, the extended family does not show any differentiation between the adopted child and other cousins in the house as that will have a huge impact on the mind of the child. Though it is not physically possible for parents to shut down the mouths of every individual, but if the child is already aware about his adopted status before hand, it will help him deal with the nasty and interfering relatives at a later stage and their poisonous talks won’t affect the child. Many a times, I have seen couples, change their houses post adoption, in order to avoid unnecessary questions and talks by the society.

It is also important that we as a society become mature enough to handle and respect adoption amongst our peer groups. It is important that we welcome them and not ask unnecessary questions or gossip about the same.

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