This is a piece of fiction, a journey of a victim of molestation
Age 15 :- I was in Class X. There was this boy in my building, let us call him X. A few days before he had proposed me and I had rejected. During those days being in a relationship was a taboo and I wanted to have career first anyways. It was Holi. I was enjoying with my friends, someone suddenly came from behind and hugged me tightly and put his hand under my Tshirt. It all happened in a fraction of a second. I did not know what to do. I turned and saw behind it was him. After that day till date one thing that scares me is the colours of Holi.
Age 17 :- I was always good at public speaking. It was just another day of presentation in college. I was confident that I would be the best and score the maximum marks as usual, afterall the entire class would always wait to listen to me. But that day, it was different, my competitor was sitting on the first bench with his cronies, all set to spoil the presentation, none of their tricks worked with me. This time when I looked at them as a part of the eye contact with the audience, I felt uncomfortable, they were literally seeing me through my dress with wild imagination, they did not physically molest me but mentally did much more than that. A few of my friends noticed this, from that day I looked into their eyes with determination and they never dared to look into my eyes.
Age 19 :- I was in the second year of my college and little on the heavier side. I decided to join a reputed gym in my locality. I went and inquired with the manager, he said he will take me around the gym. I went and saw the upper floor. A few people were working out. He then insisted that he will show me the sauna room specially for ladies. I went ahead but I felt something fishy. He had already un butttoned the first two buttons of his shirt. I ran away without looking back. It took me 8 years to overcome the fear of gym.
Age 23:- I was almost all set in my Career, had a good job, which was very taxing. Career had drained most me, yet I desperately wanted to find love somewhere, I could. He came in my life as an angel, a shoulder that I was looking for to drain my emotions. He was mature about 8 years elder to me, yet treated me like an equal. I loved that. He said he didn’t believe in relationships, and would go for a live – in – relationship anytime, instead of marriage. I was blindly in love with him, no I was vulnerable and needed him the most, No I was stupid to trust someone whom I met at work. He loved alcohol, I hated it, but to make him happy, I had it with him, followed by a couple of hours of disaster. He thought I was sleeping, but I remember every touch. Still, he went back on his words. Few days back, I came to know he was already in a long committed relationship and got married to the same girl. I felt like a failure, wanted to die, the pain was so bad I could not share it with anyone. That day, I lost faith in love, turned into a lifeless body, who can never be in a relationship ever. Some scars don’t let you move ahead in life.
Today, I am making myself so strong physical, mentally and emotionally that I can hit anyone who tries to take advantage of me.
This is the story Neena who stays in South Mumbai. Everyone thinks just because you are from the city, your body is freely available. Many a times even today people just go close to her because after all she is a woman what can she do. Neena is an independent career woman but just because she has many male colleges and associates and juniors at work, she needs to be physically touched by the men to show that AFTER ALL SHE IS A WOMAN WHAT CAN SHE DO, SHE IS MEANT TO BE WEAK AND NOT STRONG.
Molestation in many cases need not be physical, most times just the verbal comments or wrong method of staring or leeching is enough to break a person’s confidence. Many a times, we prefer to keep quiet because no damage has been done but that only encourages such people to go ahead. We blame the media, bollywood films, short dresses, working late night, mobile phones, internet and different such things for increase in crime against women.
We teach our daughters how to sit, how to stand how to behave in front of men and elders but as a society we fail to teach our sons how to respect women, how to behave in her presence, how to control their wagging tongue and roving eyes. These are the lessons that we as parents need to teach them,if children at home witness the fathers hitting their mothers in such cases one cannot expect that son to respect women outside. Tomorrow If a man complains that he cannot let his daughter join X college because the boys will trouble her, then it is the reflection of his failure as a part of the society because he did not stand against the wrong. Such a father cannot blame the law, society or their neighbour’s boys who trouble his daughter.
It is important that we talk about the harsh reality that exist in our society. It is easy to blame anyone and everyone but tough to stand up for what is wrong.