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When parents turn Bullies

Well the title of this  blog may shock you a bit, but sometimes knowingly or unknowingly, the biggest bullies in a child’s life are his parents. Sometimes knowingly, and many a times unknowingly we bully our children.

The basic duty of parents is to help make our kids, rough and tough for the world and in the same process we adopt strictness. We feel that kids are innocent and do not understand much, they easily forget whatever is said to them and therefore it is cool to make fun of them. The reality is somewhat different. Children quiet often remember how parents bully them and make fun of them during their childhood days.

Have you seen the serial Sarabhai Vs. Sarabhai, wherein Indravadan Sarabhi openly bullies his adult Son Rosesh Sarabhai in front of all the guests and family members. As a  sitcom it may seem  funny but in reality, it may be disastrous for any child to go through the  same.

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What we forget as parents is that our children are more influenced by what we say. Yes. We do not deliberately bully them but our actions indirectly affect them. Here are a few ways in which you may be hurting or bullying your child emotionally:

  1. Constantly comparing your child;
  2. Constantly nagging them about their physical features, such as height, weight, body structure, Facial Features;
  3. By constantly discouraging them to pursue their interest;
  4. By making them an item for display by asking them to perform for the guest, who come home. Not every child is happy performing;
  5. Shouting at them, just because they did not say hello or hi to a particular uncle or aunty, who were your friends;
  6. Criticizing your child in public, displaying their weakness in public is an action that breaks their confidence completely;
  7. Hitting or abusing your child in public;
  8. Sharing their embarrassing moments or pictures in public;
  9. Refusing to show affection or support to your child in public is also a type of bullying. Children need the support of their parents the most, when outsiders bully them;

You may be interested to read: Gentle Parenting

These are just a few actions,which generally almost all parents do, directly or indirectly. The intention is not to support the wrong actions of your child but to gently rectify their mistakes and to support them in correcting their mistakes. You do not have to be harsh to them while rectifying their mistakes but must be careful to see that you do not do it publicly.

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 Some children, who are bullied by their parents since childhood turn into hating their  parents in future, because they were deprived of the love that they were entitled to during their childhood. Bullying leaves a life long effect on your child’s tender mind.

Do let me know what you think about this articles in the comment section and also share it with your friends.

P.C. ScienceDaily, LiteracyBase, CarolAuCorant,

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47 comments

  1. These days we have started preferring blogs over newspaper. We get good info just like what your blog provided.

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  2. I feel so guilty as I have recently done that and in a very bad way. I don’t know how to fix it as there’s not always an undo button. I am trying hard not to let situations affect my son. thanks for the post.

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  3. Maybe some of these things are cultural differences between countries, but I cannot imagine anyone in the US doing some of the awful things you describe here. Then again, some of them (like parents yelling at their kids in public) I see every so often, and it breaks my heart.

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  4. I would agree that words do affect people for a long, long time. Thank you for sharing this informative post.

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  5. It is so true how much we are affected by the things people say; especially when the people on the other side of the words are our parents,

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  6. I try to not bully my kids, but I do want them to obey and listen to me. So sometimes I do punish or talk sternly to them. I don’t spank though. But they do get grounded if they have a bad attitude.

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  7. This is something i always focus on because i had adults like this in my life. Don’t get me wrong. I am so grateful to have the family I do. But at the same time I always try to break the cycle.

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  8. That is an interesting view. I never thought of parents bullying their kids but I guess it really can be viewed like this if you’re a child. Things adults do have such an impact on their kids.

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  9. Hopefully, this reaches some of those families in need and helps them through the difficult time they are in. Children can always benefit fro parents educating themselves. Thanks for sharing!

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  10. Gosh, I would never put down my daughter or bully her. I definitely wouldn’t make her do something she didn’t want to do and make fun of her appearance. A stern talking to when they are in the wrong or have done something bad then yes, but other than that there is no need to be a bully.

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  11. All these things that you mentioned I have had experienced them as a child – I’m Asian and it was and still is common in our culture especially in the Eastern part of the world. However, now that I have kids both my husband and I have never ever exhibited any of these behaviors. We are so conscious of how we treat them. We treat them like adults.

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  12. I feel sorry whenever I unconsciously compare my son to his sister. I know this is some kind of mental torture. But, what in the world am I doing this? I will try my best not to do it again.

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  13. These things sound horrible and sound very much like “knowingly” being a bully. I thought you were going to say subtle things like not getting them things that others had or not letting them do things that they feel they have earned. This sticks with kids too but it is not bullying. Your examples are just sad and should not be done!

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  14. Parents need to self reflect and make sure they aren’t modeling bullying behaviors to children. It is a learned behavior.

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  15. What an honest post. This is more common than people think, I wish more people would talk about this. Words stick with us. My upbringing still has a big impact on me and I can tell. Thanks for sharing! 🙂

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  16. I’m not a parent but I appreciate you bringing light to this issue. I would have honestly never guessed. We all have impact on kids these days.

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  17. It’s terrible that some children go through this. Sometimes I lose my temper with my son after contantly asking him to stop doing something (terrible two’s are fun hahah) but nonetheless I would never do those things to him. My heart goes out to any child that happens to. Thanks for sharing!

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  18. I just hate bully. Had a bad experience when I was young, so when I see bully, I will make sure I tell him to stop.

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