Gentle parenting, is a new concept, that every new millennial parent wants to adopt. But different people have different concepts of Gentle parenting. So hereunder, is my interpretation of the concept of Gentle Parenting:
The word Gentle Parenting as per me means Parenting without being harsh. While, many of you may feel that it is important to be strict with your child or hit your child or just simply stare at them and raise your voice in order to discipline your child. I would definitely try to differ from all of you. Yes, I am a human being and like every other human beings, I have also lost my patience, my temper is a flaw and I am absolutely ok with it.
Yes there are times, when I loose my patience, when my son throws unnecessary tantrums, like demanding to wear canvas shoes on a rainy day, or the ultimate challenge that every parent faces, taking your child away from a toy shop. These are the moments, when I really feel like screaming on top of my voice and pulling my own hair apart.So how, do I ensure that I get my work done without loosing my patience. I have learnt the art to trick my son.
Obsession about things
So how do you handle a situation, wherein your child is demanding to wear Canvas shoe on a rainy day. I first try to explain him, what happens, when you wear shoes instead of sandals, until sometime ago 90% of the times, this effort of mine goes into vain. So a couple of times, I let him wear the Canvas shoes and took him out in the rain. By the time we reached halfway towards the garden, he realized, that his shoes were slipping and there was a lot of mud. A few minutes ago, I had tried explaining him the same concept, but it did not work.
Just like elders, children also learn only with experience, experience is the best teacher in life. Instead of shouting and hitting my son, I allowed him to take his decision and face the consequence. So where is the difference in gentle parenting here ? Instead of shouting at him again for those muddy shoes, I took him and the shoes to the bathroom and we both cleaned those muddy shoes together. Parents are children’s ultimate support. Parenting is only about two things, teaching your children to take decision and then supporting them when they face the consequence. I believe gentle parenting is more about helping your children experience different circumstances in life, while simultaneously supporting them.
School time tantrums
Another common problem, that I face, almost every Monday is, when there is a huge tantrum to go to school. My son, usually cries and howls for about 15 minutes, when he tries to wear his uniform. His only problem is with the uniform and he is absolutely fine once we step out of the door. So how do I deal with this situation. The preparation begins over the weekend. Me and my husband, we both ensure, that we spend quality time with our son, just a drive to the beach or the local park is enough. Throughout the weekend we do tell him that on Monday, daddy goes to office and Suraj will go to school.
On Monday morning , I try and finish my chores, much before he wakes up. From the time he is awake, my entire time is dedicated to him. We play a little bit and pack his tiffin together. I ensure to stock his favorite meal over the weekend. I make him wear his favorite inners and his favorite sleeveless t shirt since morning. So, when it is time to go to school, he is happy that he can wear his favorite t-shirt to school (Obviously), below his school uniform. Every child has a temporary liking or a wish, try and understand that and adapt it in his school routine.
At the Super Market
The toughest challenge for any parent is taking their child to a supermarket. Either they run around, or throw tantrums demanding their favorite snack. I generally hand over one basket to my son. He feels very overwhelmed, that he has been given such a big responsibility. I generally put one light item like a biscuit packet in his basket. By the time I am done with my shopping, he is busy dragging the shopping basket around the super market. That gives him very less time to loiter around and check for his favorite sweets or toys. The challenge is at the billing counter, so what I generally do is ask him to help me keep the things that we have purchased on the counter, so that he is busy in that process and can easy ignore the things kept at the shelves there.
These were a few experiences or hacks for gentle parenting from my side. Do let me know your experiences about the same.